she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
