You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
