Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
