well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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