dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
