Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
