I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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