dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
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