omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
