hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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