so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
