Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I can't put those talents on a resume
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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