But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
