I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
