We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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