you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
