I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Randomize