I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
