I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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