Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
