i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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