I swear she didn't look like that last week.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
