dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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