smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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