I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize