Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
