Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize