Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
