omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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