dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
