im having a threesome with these popsicles
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Idk if I want to put a bra on
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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