So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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