I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
