I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
How's work?
Spinning.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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