Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
