that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
