craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
