not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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