I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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