Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
