I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Small penises have feelings too.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
