When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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