i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i now understand why vodka
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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