It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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