Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
