woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
