When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
