stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize