have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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