One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
