I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
