Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just invented taco cereal.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
