im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
my shit smells like andre
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
