so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
How external is "for external use only"?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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