I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
