hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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