I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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