He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
it glows. i had to have it.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
