I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think your dad took our porno
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
